Cecily

The Cecilita Jones Update:

Cecily's Auntie Rachel calls her "Cecilita Jones" sometimes. 

It's funnier if you say it with a Spanish accent. 

Now you're all saying it in your head.  Now laughing.  I know, it's funny.  Thanks Rach.

Oh, my.  Cecily just keeps becoming more and more fun, and more and more of her OWN person.  She has her own opinions about EVERYTHING, and isn't afraid to tell you how it is (or how she thinks it should be).

She's still gets really excited about pretty much everything in the whole world.

I was writing in her journal the other night about all her energy and vitality and I realized that it truly is something wonderful, and something to celebrate. 

Don't get me wrong, she wears me out on a daily basis, but I realized how much excitement she brings in to my life too.  She started jumping up and down in the car this morning because I bought her juice at the store.  It's the little things that make life great, and she helps me remember that. 

She starts pre-school next year and she is SOOOOOOOOOOO excited.  We haven't put her in any kind of preschool yet because either we didn't want to shell out the money, or we were moving soon.  Her little friend, Avery is a few months older than her, and is going to kindergarten next year (along with most of CJ's primary church class).  Cecily started crying when I told her she isn't quite old enough for kindergarten.  There's a really great Lutheran Pre-School here in town, though, so we're signing her up.  I'm excited for the structure and socialization it will give her.  Not to mention the break from her little bro terrorizing her and pulling her pigtails :). 

Some of the things Cecily LOVES are:

-Pizza with Pepperoni

-Playing outside and at the Park

-Riding her bike

-Playing tag with Mom

-Bananas, Broccoli, and Carrots

-Playing with friends

-Library Books

-Coloring with markers (which only happens occasionally because if Nolan gets a hold of them we have a large mess on our hands)

-Painting.  Paint by numbers, paint with water, acrylics, basically anything paint related

-Tumbling class and anything at the CPRD rec center

Some things Cecily DOES NOT LOVE are:

-Apples

-Nolan doing what she calls "bad things" to her, i.e. pulling her hair or taking her color crayons

-Being bossed around by mom

-Eating her entire dinner

-Getting her hair brushed

Just like Nolan-man, this girl lights up my life.  We really love her a lot.

Nolan

I've been lacking in the family updates lately and writing a bunch of personal crap, so I'm repenting of that now.  Let's start with Nolan, shall we?  He's the cutest boy in the house, that's for sure. 

Nolan's FAVORITE place is the park.

He is 2 years and just shy of 4 months.  He's still so tall, so fun, and has SO much energy.

Here's some of his most favorite things:

-Strawberries

-Wearing his pajamas all day

-His "poo pet" which translates to "pillow pet"

-Going down the slide at the park

-Hop Hop Hopping everywhere

-Asking questions : "where going, mama?"  "what doing, mama?" "have some, mama?" "where dada?" "more juice? more milk? more drink, mama?"

-Zerber kisses on his neck and tummy.

-Tickles

-Playing tag

- Anything water related. (baths, splashing in puddles, dumping water out of the sink, etc :)

-Having his shoes on nearly all the time.

Here's a few of his latest challenges:

- Playing with little girls.  They just really don't get him.  He's aggressive and wants to jump and spin and be crazy...... and most little girls (with the exception of his big sis) aren't in to that. And that's ok.

-Not climbing everything in sight

-Sitting through church

- Not pulling Cecily's hair

-Sitting down for an entire meal

He came in and said "Look ma! I a lamp!"

We understand most of the words he says now and he's talking in complete sentences for the most part.  He is pushing boundaries and over the past month has decided to start pretending he doesn't hear us when we tell him to do something.  It's funny and annoying all at the same time.  We'll ask him 234 times and then when we yell at him on the 235th time he turns and says "huh?"

Big Boy Underpants!!!!

We are attempting some potty training, although it's been slow going.  I'm ok with that.  I stressed myself out with Cecily and made the experience a nightmare for both of us, so I'm trying to be as chill as possible about Nolan.  He will tell us when he's going, but he has yet to actually make it to the potty. 

I've said this before, but really he is the joy of my life.  He says the funniest things and has the most wonderful exuberant spirit.  It makes me happy to be around him.

Vulnerability

I've been thinking about this concept endlessly lately.  I found this video about a year and a half ago and it's just now hitting home.  I think I'll watch it every day for a month.  It's that good. 

Forgiveness

Cecily uses this bag to house her doll furniture.

 It was a "gift" from Mike's former employer.  They were always sending us random junk.  (Government agency, anyone?) We have a collection of fridge magnets, sandwich containers, nail clippers, and useless bags.  All of which used to make me cringe when I looked at them.

They each reminded me of Mike's job, which would immediately make me think of his boss. 

Mike's former boss didn't treat him well.  In fact, he treated him like total and complete crap on a daily basis.  And although Mike's co-worker knew the boss was being UNBELIEVABLY unfair, he didn't stick up for Mike, even when given ample opportunities to do the right thing.   You don't even need the details- suffice it to say that they both acted like horrible human beings.

Over the past 8 months (and even before) I have harbored hatred in my heart for Mike's boss and co-worker.  Anything that I didn't like about our situation I would blame on them.  They were easy to blame. I thought things like, "If they hadn't been such jerks to mike then we would still be living in our house....... If they hadn't had it out for Mike, then I wouldn't have to live in this crappy duplex..... If they had acknowledged how great Mike is we wouldn't have to live in this tiny town...."  .......and on and on and on.  I know you're probably thinking that it was ridiculous (and it was), but at the time it felt good to blame everything on someone outside myself.  And, lets be honest, it's easier to forgive someone for hurting YOU, than it is to forgive someone who hurts your loved and cherished companion.

Over the past few weeks I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness.  Even while I was doing all the blaming, I knew in my heart that it wasn't healthy.  I knew that both of those men were living their lives with no thought of me or my family whatsoever.  I didn't think of them constantly (or even daily), but it was enough to put a dent in all the joy I should have been soaking up.

The stupid thing about all my needless rage is that there truly have been
 MIRACLES in the life of our family. 

Miracles which I acknowledge, and am incredibly grateful for. 
I have realized recently that for these miracles to truly take hold in my life and change me for the better I need to let go of my stupid anger for these two men. 
Just let it go.  Done. Over.  The end. 

So, I am striving, and learning and growing.
And I'm happy.
I have a loving husband who has a job which he likes.  The people he works with now value him and treat him with kindness and respect.  We are in a wonderful little town with lots of genuinely great people.  We have a roof over our heads, food to eat, and two sincerely amazing children. 

Even as I type this, I realize how silly it sounds.  Sheesh- I should have done this a long time ago! Hopefully next time I'll get around to forgiveness a little faster.