The Story of Ezra's Birth

As I sit here clicketty-clacking on my laptop keyboard there is a squishy ball of perfect curled up next to my hip on the bed.  Grateful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel to have this little kiddo safe, healthy, and on the OUTSIDE of my body.  He's been here for 7 weeks. AAAAnd, we love him. 

5 days old

I like reading about other people's choices regarding birth.  I love home births and hospital births and birth-centers and midwives and doctors and doulas and such.  It's fascinating for me.  While I have my own opinions on each, I would say that I wholeheartedly support and love the fact that we have CHOICES in the matter.  I am all for each woman deciding what is best for themselves and their babes.  I have (at one time or another) considered each and every one of those for myself.

I didn't post Nolan's birth story, or Cecily's, but they're both written down.  Part of the reason I didn't  was because of all the judgment that seems to swirl around people's decisions these days. Would people think I was weak for getting an epidural?  Would my choice of having a CNM be looked at as irresponsible?  I was afraid of judgment.  Good thing I've grown up and gotten over some of that in the past 3 years. 

Here's his birth story, in case you like that sort of thing.

Friday, May 31, 2013
7am- I called the hospital from Mike's cousin's house to ask if they had a bed for me.  I'd talked with my midwife earlier that week and decided that I was ready to be induced.  The pelvic pain and pressure was getting so bad that I was having trouble walking (or standing... or sitting... or lying down... or moving at all really), so I wanted to coax the baby out asap. 

They had a bed!  Hooray!  I was going to have the baby THAT DAY!  Elation! Joy! But, mostly relief.

9am- I check in to the hospital and go through mountains of paperwork, shed a few anxious/, extremely hormonal tears, got a blessing of peace from my husband, and got an IV. 

Part of the reason I've looked in to having babies in a birth center is because I have a deep deep deep deep hatred and simultaneous fear of Pitocin.  We are not friends.  But I needed the baby OUT of my body.  REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY bad. (I got really whiney about it towards the end- just ask my friends).

11am- My nurse Christine started me on Penicillin (for group b strep) and Pitocin.   The penicillin made the veins in my arm burn like acid was being pumped in to them.... so that was fun.....

3pm- Contractions are not really painful, just annoying.  The monitor (another reason I hate Pitocin- constant monitors that slip and slide and beep and drive. me. BANANAS) would not stay in the right spot, so Christine kept coming in and trying to find his heart-beat.  And, while she was really nice, it took her FOREVER to find it every time.   

3:15 My midwife comes in to check me.  I'm only at a 2.  A TWO.  I'm irritated that the hospital won't let me eat, so I circumvent the system and talk to my midwife, and she ok's it.  Once again, this re-affirms to me how much I love midwives.  I really enjoy the "To hell with the stupid hospital rules" attitude. 

Mike got me a salad and some hummus and it was fabulous.  I felt my bounce come back.

4pm- Contractions are getting painful, but are really irregular.  They up the Pit drip. 

5pm- The pain is steadily getting worse with each contraction, but there are tons of irregularities.  Sometimes the contractions are close together, sometimes they last a long time, sometimes they peak fast and back off fast. 

5:45- The pain is really bad at this point.  With every contraction I am pushing against mike's hand and tensing up my face and arms and body to try and combat it.  Not what the books tell you to do, I know.   What's even more frustrating is that the contractions are still wildly irregular.  Like my body can't figure out what to do or how to get a rhythm going.  The contractions start peaking and only backing off a little between each.  I'm not even getting a break to relax between them.  It sucks. 

I ask to get in the tub.  I can't get in the tub because I am on Pitocin and the wireless baby monitor.....is......broken.  Broken, along with my heart (ok, maybe it wasn't that dramatic.... but it felt that dramatic when they told me). 

6pm- My midwife checks me.  I am ...... a 3.  After lots of painful contractions, I'm only a 3. 

I start to cry.  How can I be a 3?  I'm in so much pain and I'm having contractions right on top of one another? 

My midwife gently suggests the possibility of an epidural. 

"I can see your body fight and tense up every single time you have a contraction.  I think maybe if you get the epidural your body will relax enough to have this baby."

I start crying.  Again.

"I feel like such a wuss.  I really thought I could do it. I am trying so hard."

That's when my superman Mikey stepped up and said the right thing at the right time.  He told me that it was entirely up to me.  That he knew I could do it without an epidural if I wanted to.  That I was strong and brave and all those things a woman wants to hear when she's in the process of giving birth.  He also said that if I got an epidural I would still be strong and brave and just as wonderful of a mother.  Truth, people.  He spoke truth.

6:15- I get the epidural and I am immediately so grateful that I did.  I want to take a nap, actually.  I can still move my legs a little, feel the contractions when they happen (although without intense pain), and I can gleefully wiggle my toes.

7pm- My nurse comes in to check me again. I'M A NINE AND A HALF!
(PS- a similar thing happened during labor with Nolan-  I went from a 3 to a 9 in less than 3 hours).

For some reason, the machine on my epidural started beeping around 7:05.  Since I was so close to delivery, and with the last two I've only had to push I few times to get them out, I told them it was fine to shut it off to stop the beeping.  I thought the babe would be out before it wore off........

Honestly, the next 45 minutes are a little blurry, but I'll do my best.

I know the baby nurse came in at some point. 

My midwife comes back and asks the nurse to "break the bed".  She started watching the baby heartbeat monitor closely and says to me "Wendy, I think we should start pushing.  I think the baby is needing to come out.  His heartbeat is decelerating during your contractions." 

Freak-outage in my brain ensues.

"I don't want you to worry at all, it's coming back up between contractions." 

I calm. A little.

I start pushing, and at some point my midwife decides to put a heart-rate monitor inside on my babe's little scalp.  She keeps saying reassuring things like "You're doing great!"  and "The baby is going to be fine" because I am continuously asking "Is he ok?  Is he ok?

Once again I go in to freak-out mode when I hear the nurse and midwife conversing quietly about how they can't get a reading on his heart-rate.

"He's turning." she says.  "It's ok. The first one is broken, I believe.  We just need another heart-rate monitor." 

I keep pushing and pushing, but for some reason he isn't coming out as fast (or as easily) as my other two.  By this point my epidural is wearing off a bit and I can feel not only pressure, but pain. 

After 20 or 30 minutes of pushing, my midwife looks at me and says, very calmly "Wendy, his heart-rate isn't coming back up between contractions.  I need you to push him out.  Now.  You can't push with contractions anymore, just push until he's here."

At that point I was no longer in freak-out mode.  I was in I'm-getting-this-kid-out-this-minute-and-nothing-will-stop-me mode.  The only moment of fear was when Erin (my midwife) quietly said to the nurse "Page the NICU, please."  I knew she tried to keep her voice down, but I have bat-like ears, apparently.

 In a whirlwind of pushing, grunting, screaming, yelling, and crying, Ezra Michael Vincent was born at 7:43pm in the evening to the sound of his fathers voice yelling "He's ok, babe! You did it! He's good!"

He weighed 8lbs 2oz and measured 21inches long. 

Despite all the fuss about his heart-rate, he ended up absolutely fine.

They asked Michael if he wanted to cut the cord, but he was so emotional from watching me give birth and the few intense moments surrounding it that he was too overwhelmed to do it.  This birth was so different, but it was wonderful in it's own way.  As cheesy as it sounds, it brought MSV and I closer.

Everything from there was calm and peaceful.  I nursed, I recovered, we left the hospital a few days later. 

Bliss.

April Showers, May Snowstorms

Montana has the most random weather.  Mother Nature decided May was the perfect time for snowstorms this year.  Weird. 

 

 

The past few months have seemed to rush past me and drag on at a turtle's pace all at once. 

I am not at all ready to have this kid, and yet I have days when I think he'll never get here. 

 

 In April I worked.  And then I worked some more.  And then came more work and more responsibility.  Ok, I'm exaggerating. But, that's how it seemed sometimes when I was sitting in the security shack (it's actually a trailer that's not at all shabby) at the mine, or when I was rushing around to a Relief Society presidency meeting, or when I was doing volunteer work with a group here in Colstrip, or when I was trying desperately to give my husband CPA study time, or when I was chasing my little kiddos (or someone else's) around.  I thought the exhaustion would never end. 

 

At some point, however, I realized that it was of my own making. 

LIGHTBULB!

I had chosen to say yes when my boss asked me to fill in at work. 

 I had chosen to say yes when people asked me to volunteer.

 I chose to tell people at church that I could be there, or meet with them, or help out with something or other. 

 And, of course, I made the choice to have my 2 little babies and add yet another cute bean in to the mix.  I CHOSE IT!  So I had to decide which was most important.

Prioritizing is not a skill I have, but I'm working on it.  My first priority was my husband and my beans.  And the bean I was growing in my belly.

I finally realized I had to choose them over all the other stuff.

 

So, I finally said no to my boss, and no to volunteering, and no to friends who asked me to watch their kid, and no to a few of my church things. (All you Mormons out there know that while you can back off church stuff, you'll never really "be done" with it.... ). 

Life has been less hectic since then, and I've been able to mostly get everything ready for this new dude.  Hooray! 

 

 

SOOOOOOOOO..............

Let's get gushy for a minute, shall we?

I'm overly emotional and mushy while humans grow in my uterus.  Deal.

 

 

I am grateful for my family.  Mike works really hard for us and has dealt with my off the charts emotions like a champ.  Love him. 

 

My two kiddos are so amazing and sometimes I sit back and am in awe of the sheer awesomeness that is this stage of life. 

Exhausting?  Heck-to-the-yes.  Occasionally frustrating?  More than I'd like to admit.

But also full of wonder and learning and discovery and snuggles and kisses and hide-and-go-seeks and zerbers at bedtime. 

I'm excited for them to get older, but OH, how I love their littleness right now.  I know I'll miss it when they're school age, and tweens, and teens and grown up and gone.   A year ago I wouldn't have said this or felt this way.  Maybe I'm growing too, huh? 

 

And, last but not least, I am grateful to be carrying my third baby. 

I spoke to a good friend the other day who has one child, and always thought she'd have more, but wasn't able to.  She listens to me whine and complain about pregnancy, and never makes me feel like my complaints are not valid or that I'm being unfeeling.  She was not chastising me in any way, but during the course of our conversation she unknowingly helped me (again) realize and appreciate what an incredible blessing this baby is.  That I get to carry him in my body is miraculous. 

Really, they're all miraculous, even when it's 4:00 am and they just puked all over their bed, or when they throw tantrums in the grocery store, or when they run screaming around the chapel in the middle of a church service.  I don't love every minute of it, but I'm trying to appreciate the joy of it all. 

 

So gloriously gushy, I know.  But it's true.  And it's how I feel tonight.

 

 

I've been super resistant to post (or even take) pregnancy pictures this time around.  I'm vain and I feel fat.  I've gained more poundage with number 3 for sure, but he'll be worth it, I know. 

Since it's for posterity, I'm swallowing my pride and posting belly pictures. 

 

35 weeks



37 weeks.  Love the wrist brace?  Fashion statement, I know!  Swelling is
awesome this pregnancy and carpel tunnel has reared it's ugly head.

My 3 Year Old

WHAT THE 3 YEAR OLD??  I seriously can't believe my lil man is 3 already.  Actually, he's 3 years and nearly 3 months old at this point, but that's only because I'm super slackoid mama lately and haven't blogged.  

 So, here's the latest on my little/big boy:

- He is extremely affectionate and LOVES hugs, kisses and backrubs.  All are a delightful pass time for me, his adoring mama.

- He loves babies and asks to give them kisses whenever he sees them.  There's a few new babies at church and Nolan makes all the mom's hearts melt because he's so loving toward them.  He was 1 month shy of being old enough to go to sunbeams this january (grrr), but he's the "big helper" in there, so I guess it's ok.  He gets the binkie's and blankets for the 18 month olds and tries to comfort them if they cry.  So sweet.

- High energy doesn't even begin to describe what this kid is.  He's SUPER-jump-up-and-down-martha-energy-man.  Seriously, sometimes I feel like I can't keep up. 

- He is very smart, and very articulate.  It's so interesting to see the differences between my two kiddos.  CJ is smart in such different areas and different ways than her younger bro.  He LOVES all things shapes and colors, but isn't as interested in letters and numbers as his older sis was at his age.  He can identify his name and all the letters in it, so that's a start, right? 

- He tries SO hard to be included with his big sis and her friends.  He tags along with the older kids and is happy as a clam even if they aren't doing much to include him. 

-He will be THE BEST big brother.  Kisses and zerbers on my tummy are a favorite of his, and he also loves giving my belly "yiddle squeezes!"  He has also started hoarding toys in the corner of his room for "baby bludder."

-His speech is great, but for some reason he switches the R sound for the L sound when it's the second sound in a word.  He says "Blowken" for Broken, and "Flidge" for Fridge.  What is funny to me is that he can say "Rocket" just fine, but if the r sound is second he mixes it up with L. 

- He LOVES to tease and joke with us, and his humor is predictable and 3 year old and darling.

-He's still measuring off the charts for height and around 60th % for weight.  Long and lean is how we grow 'em round here. 

-He gets in to the pantry and fridge constantly and tries to sneak food ALL. THE. TIME. 

- Favorite foods: pepperoni pizza, apples, oranges, and any candy he can get his paws on.

-Other favorite things:  Jammies.  His doggy pillow pet.  Time with daddy.  Morning backrubs from mom.

Here's his birthday party pics:

We did a family party this year.  I am a mom who likes to celebrate, but I'm not a crazy go-all-out-with-a-theme-and-invite-the-circus-as-well-as-everyone-you've-ever-met type of mom. Maybe I could be if we were closer to family, but this year it was just our little clan.   And we are great. 

Helping with dinner!  And singing. 

Under the birthday banner!  Happy #3!

Ripping presents open with his teeth.  He's very efficient :)

Avenger shoes!

It was so fun for me to see his excitement about
 a plastic pair of binoculars.  I love being his mom.

New "laptop" for Nolan. 

The cake!  Notice how he still has the binoculars around
his neck and he wouldn't let us put the laptop away.  Silly kid.
 

Funfetti cake! Delish. 

This 3 year old sure is a blessing.  He makes me happy when skies are grey.  And, while there are days when I swear he could drive a woman to drink, most of the time he is simply a joy and a bright spot in our lives. 

The Saga of the Renters: A Cautionary Tale

Disclaimer:  This is a super long post.  And a little boring if you didn't live through it.  Just so you know.


I felt SO good about renting our house to them.

Let me just say that upfront.

 I really felt like we had been blessed.  They were so excited about our home.  They really were. 

BUT FIRST, a little back story:  We purchased our first home in Billings a few years ago with high hopes of living there for years and loving it.  We did love our home.... but Michael's job was THE WORST and he traveled constantly and I was all aboard the crazy-mommy-without-a-break train.  In late August he was let go from his job and (miracle!) the next day he was offered another job 120 miles away.  Rather than commute 4 hours every day, we chose to be together and live in nowhereland.  We rented our house in Billings to a couple from our Billings church congregation and for a while and they worked out great.  But, they ended up having to move and so we prepared to rent out the house in July of 2012. 

Back to the story:

I put an ad on craigslist and (no joke) within 24 hours I had about 8 people lined up to come look at the house.  Providence! Hallelujah!  Hooray!

The people we ended up renting to were the first call, and the first showing.  I loved them.  It was an older couple as well as a younger couple with 2 kids and they all wanted to share the house and live in happiness forever while paying our mortgage.  It was an aunt and a niece and their husbands.  I was ok with the fact that there were 4 people because, in all honesty, I thought it would be good rent payment security.  Surely 4 competent adults could come up with rent each month, right?  Providence!  Hallelujah!  Hooray.

We went in to the house and re-finished the hardwood (which took FOREVER) and I tried to touch up the paint in the living room. UUUUUnfortunately, the paint was SUPER old and my "touch up" job ended up making it look seriously awful. Before moving in, we told them that we would allow them to paint the living room (with our approval of the color) if they wanted, or we would have a company come in and paint for them.  More on that later.

 Everything went swimmingly on move-in/lease signing day.  Again, we just felt great about them.  I was the only one to go in to Billings that day because Mike was working.  After all the papers had been signed the older couple asked me to come downstairs with them. The oldies were going to live downstairs and the younguns were to occupy the upstairs.  So, the oldies take me down and start telling me all the plans they have for the basement.  They wanted to put a closet in our basement bonus room. 

 Uhhhhh.... ok? 

That sounds good, I guess... 

Then they pull me in to the weird storage area in our basement (really- it was the cuckoo part of the house) and they explained how they want to build a kitchen down there. The oldies wanted a separate kitchen from the younguns.

What?  A kitchen?  For realz? 

I was kind of taken back.  I told them that I would have to talk with the hubbs, but that we might be able to work something out.  The older gentlemen was a contractor, so that gave us a little faith.

That day in the basement I said to them, "Well, we are willing to talk about this with you, but we cannot give you any money to do this.  If you want to do this, you'll have to pay for it.  And I know my husband and I will want to see your plans first and make the decisions with you."

"OH, of COURSE!"  they said.  "ABSOLUTELY" they said.  "Don't even WORRY!" they said.

Mike spoke with them and we decided that we wanted them to feel comfortable in the house and make it their own, so we gave them the go-ahead with the understanding that we would be consulted about all decisions, and we insisted that all work be signed off as up to code by a licensed electrician. 

"OH, of COURSE!" they said. "ABSOLUTELY" they said. "Don't even WORRY!" they said.


A few weeks down the road, the Younguns called to say they had painted the living room.

They had not so much as mentioned to us that they had chosen a color, let alone had us approve it.
We had not insisted on written consent.  Our mistake, for sure.

"What color did you paint it?" I asked, thinking they had probably just re-painted the pretty slate blue which was already there.

"A really lovely Amber color.  It's a wonderful neutral tone." she said.
I was surprised, but I thought that I'd be ok with it if it was neutral. 

On my next trip to Billings I stopped by to see it.
Oh, boy.
It was a sickly combination of brown and mustard yellow.  Not exactly amber.
It looked like someone had let a newborn poop all over my walls.
Not only that, but they had painted my hallway the same color.
Without so much as a phone call to tell me, let alone ask.

As I went to look at the hallway, I peeked in to the bedroom.  Strewn across the (recently painted) bedroom wall were two large squares of forest green test paint. 
Going through my head was the phrase 'Give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile.'

At the time I was talking myself down and thinking "Well, they have told us that they want to be here for quite a while, so this is fine. This is what they want, and we want them to be comfortable."



At that visit, I was also able to talk to the oldies about the basement.  They said things were going great, a few walls had been knocked out and they found a really good deal on cabinets. 

Then they mentioned to us that we could take a portion off rent every month until the cabinets were paid for.
BY US.

Bewildered about what to do, we decided to try our best to take the high road.  We emailed and told them that when they moved out, we would go through the house and (with the exception of the living room- which we had given permission to paint) let them know at that time what we wanted re-painted.  The oldies were also informed that we would not take money off rent, but we appreciated all they were doing. 

The oldies called and let us know that when they moved out in a few years we could pay for the cabinets or they would just take them, but we would revisit the issue at that time.

Fine.  Whatever.  You're getting annoying.

In early December we got a call.  -The Call- if you will.  It was the young husband.  He called my phone, but asked for my husband.  Mike was gone at the time, so I said that he could just tell me whatever he needed to.  He told me that they were going to be a little late with rent that month.  They hadn't missed or been late with payments previous to that, and everybody has bad months, so I said that was fine.

He then proceeded to tell me that they found a house to buy (we found out later that in reality they were doing a "rent to own" situation) and he was giving their 30 days notice.  

Except that they were only 5 months in to a YEAR LONG lease agreement. 
I told him I needed to talk to Mike.
Young husband yelled in to the phone, "That's why I wanted to talk to him in the first place!"
As if I couldn't make decisions without Mike, but he could make them without me.....? 

Frankly, from there everything went to crap.  He called me 3 days before I was supposed to leave on a GIGANTUOUS trip to California for the holidays.  Not only that, but I was offended by the chauvinistic jerk.  I am not a bra-burner or anything, but when you can't even bring yourself to deal with a woman on a business level, I take issue with it.  He kept calling Mike's phone and wanting to talk to Mike. I deal with 90% of the Billings house stuff because my hubbs works his butt off at a full time job.  GET OVER IT, dude!  I feel sorry for your wife, and you are a pig.

We decided to let them out of their lease. Once again, we were trying to be nice. We let them know that until we found new renters they were responsible for payment of rent.

A few nights later, we got a call from the old husband.  OR, rather, MIKE got a call. He put it on speaker.  Love my hubbs.

The old husband asked us if we could pay them the 600 dollars they had put in to the basement.  Frankly, the fact that he had the audacity to even ASK irked me.  We told them we were really sorry, but we weren't able to pay them that.  His response was "Well, just make sure you pay it forward." 
He was being nice about it (or so we thought).

We went to Cali, and Christmas was fun and we thought all was going to be fine.  It was a hassle to try and get new renters over the holiday, but we had agreed to let them out of their lease, so we did what we could.

A few days after Christmas I called them to talk to them about a move out date and the paint and a few things.  The young wife answered.  She informed me that the entire kitchen had been ripped out of the basement. 
I was in complete shock.

So now, instead of us having to put a little money in for flooring, we would have to deal with hoses sticking out of the wall, weird light fixtures and outlets everywhere, AND putting flooring down on twice the space.
Before they moved in it had been portioned off as a storage space.  It was clearly delineated.  Granted, it was kooky, but it had had a specific purpose.  Now, since the walls had been knocked down and there was no kitchen there, it looked like we forgot to put carpet down on half the room or finish it in any way.

We talked to the old husband a few days later (who had done all the "work").  He said that since we "weren't willing to pay him for the work he had done, he had to sell the cabinets to get some money back."

Now people- I GET that he had put his own money in to my house.  But we hadn't asked him to do that.  That was HIS choice for HIS family to make HIS life better- not mine! 
Not to mention the fact that THEY WERE THE ONE'S BREAKING THEIR CONTRACT EARLY!  IT'S NOT LIKE WE WERE KICKING THEM OUT FOR NO REASON.

He was also really mad that we wouldn't pay him for the hourly work. 
I'm not even kidding.
The audacity of it still blows me away.

I wanted to scream at him that if a management company had been dealing with them they sure as HELL wouldn't be getting out of their lease, let alone getting their deposit back, let alone getting out of it without EXTRA charges. 

On move out day the old husband actually started lecturing us about being grateful for God's blessings.  As if he had been a blessing to us?

There have been blessings, but they did not stem from our dealings with those people. 
The only blessing that came as a DIRECT result of them was the fact that they moved out and we now have awesome people living there. We ended up losing a lot of money in the situation- which I hate to admit.  I'm not going in to the details of the financials, but they were angry that we took their deposit, even though they didn't pay rent in January.  We even pro-rated it for them.  I guess when you can't figure your life out financially and you break contracts all willy-nilly it makes sense that you would feel entitled. 
Grrr. Makes my blood boil, even 4 months later.



It was one of the most awkward/stressful situations I've ever dealt with. 

SOOOOOOOO...................
Here's my advice to anyone who wants/ needs to rent out their home:

Hire a management company.

If you can't: Put every last detail in writing and make sure your renters realize up front that you are not nice.  Don't ever be nice or you might just get screwed.

And, while we've been "once beaten, twice shy", we are still nice people.  Can't let the poopooheads get you down, eh??


Post Edit:  My sister just messaged me with a link to this blog post. 
I will now thank my lucky stars that our experience (while stressful) was nowhere NEAR as bad as these poor people.  As far as I know, our renters didn't get new titties with thier rent money. 

I Left My Heart.......

A few days after Christmas, Mike's parents took us all to San Francisco.  Oh, my.  San Fran is so lovely and we had a wonderful wonderful day.   There is something that completely enthralls me about big cities!  Places like New York, Seattle, Chicago and San Fran have always fascinated me, even thought I'm a small town gal at heart. 

 

 SO anyway, San Francisco is one of the most beautiful, cultural, and fun places to visit! We started off the day with a tour of Alcatraz. I'm a history lover, so this was SO STINKIN' COOL. What was so amazing about it was that after the prison was shut down, everything was just left there. Nothing really changed. It's not like its all been "restored" to the way it was back then or anything, it just is. I loved every minute of it. And my kids were crazy (as per usual).  

 

These two girlies.  I tell ya- they were so funny together.
This pic is from the boat ride over to Alcatraz

 

The "1866" is from when the island was a fort back during the civil war era.
Stuff like this makes me giddy. (I'm a nerd! I know!)

The whole gang (minus Laura- who was sick.  Boo!)

Rachel's too sexy for her own good

I know this photo is silly, but Nolan had so much
 fun teasing his Grandpa Vincent.  He kept saying
 " I will 'neak up on Gampa, Mom!" 
This is why we visit California even if it takes a 24 hour drive to get there. 
Love, memories, and time with the Vincents. 

 

Looking at SanFran from Alcatraz

Nolan sure loves his Uncle Eric.  They're both goofballs!

I love my boys.

So, pretty much my camera batteries crapped out right after I took this picture.  BOOOOOOOOOO.  I have no pictures of our clam chowder bread bowls.  I have none of Ghirradelli square.  I have none of me whining and crying because my sciatic nerve hurt..... oh, wait.... you probably don't want those.  But anywhoo, the day was filled with family and good memories. 

 

AAAAAAAnd, I'm pregnant

25 weeks along. 
And PS- this is the first picture I've ever
taken with my cell phone in a mirror.
 I believe they call it a "selfie" or something like that.
 Obviously, I'm not really cool enough to pull it off,
so you get what you get and you don't throw a fit. 

Not that this is news to anyone (really- anyone who reads this is probably also a friend on facebook), but I am pregnant with our third little person.  We are just so excited and we feel like this is the perfect time to add a tiny addition to our family.  We found out on the 24th of September when I was only 4 weeks along, and MAN it was hard to keep the good news to ourselves!  That weekend we went to see my parents in Helena and it was honestly ALL I COULD DO to keep from blurting it out during every conversation. 

This pregnancy has been different from the last two in some ways, but they're all really amazing and magical and I seriously love being pregnant.  I got much more nauseous this time around, and the entire pregnancy has seemed a lot more "by the book" than my other two.  I'm feeling all the symptoms the books say I should feel, which wasn't the case the last few times. But , I am feeling great and we are just jumping for joy at the thought of more little feets puttering around.

I'm nearly 25 weeks right now, which makes me due May 31st.  My babies always seem to want to cook extra long in there, so I'm thinking this will be a June baby. 

Cravings this time have been chicken noodle soup and spinach.  Weird, I know.  With CJ it was strawberries, Nolan it was soft serve ice cream. 

We found out a few weeks ago that we are in for more cars, trucks, dirt and craziness because its a BOY baby!
Honestly, I thought I wanted a girl.  I want CJ to have a sister to bond with.  I was a little sad.  But, (call me corny) the other day I was driving around Billings after my OB appointment and the song "If he's anything like me" by Brad Paisley came on the radio.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZazrQYirYLs
Pregnancy hormones took over and suddenly I was bawling like a baby and full of love and gratitude for my Mikey, and then filled with love and gratitude for my Nolan, and then filled with joy and excitement for my new lil man. 

SO, since we all know that being pregnant is seriously incredible and sometimes really hard, here's my list of favorite and not so favorite things:

Favorite things:
1.  My boobs re-inflate!  Like, seriously amazing boobs.  I'm pretty sure the other day I was in an elevator and a 13 year old said to me "Wow, I like your dress."  and I replied with "Thanks! It's because I've got these amazing boobs to fill it out!"  ...I'm pretty sure that was me, anyway.
2.  No guilt food.  I spent the better part of the last 3 years since Nol was born worrying about my food intake, and now it feels WONDERFUL to just eat what I want and dance a little jig about it. 
3.  Kicks.  Freaking cool!
4.  Cecily feeling a kick and FREAKING out because she thought it was so funny and amazing. 
5. Nol lifting up my shirt every 5 minutes and saying "I jus kiss da baby."  He also loves to refer to him as "Da super baby." 
6.  Remembering the fact that a REAL human can actually grow inside my body and then come out and be a REAL human.  A real person with real everything.  I know its a natural thing, but man- it's so cool. 

Not so favorite things:
1.  I fall asleep at random times during the day, despite the fact that I have 2 hellians to watch and make sure they don't burn the house down.  I'm SUPER tired with this lil dude.
2.  My nose is stuffy most days.
3.  I'm getting way bigger with this one than with the last ones.  I'm always insecure when people ask me when I'm due and I always say something like "Well, not until May, but this is my third so I'm showing really early!"  and then I realize that I really shouldn't care if I'm big, and most of the time the people I'm talking to don't really care either.  They're just happy for me, so I should be happy.
4.  I cry every 5 minutes.  Just ask my Sunday School class.  I love teaching, but I think they got tired of every week hearing "(sniff sniff) I'm so sorry! (sniff sniff) I'm seriously SOO pregnant right now!" and things of that nature. 
5.  Paranoia runs RAMPANT with me during pregnancy.  I am such an overprotective mom that my poor husband wants to smack me upside the head some days.
6..  SCIATICA.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I hate that nerve.  I could get so much more done in a day if I could just stand up. 

In all reality, I don't have it all that bad, and I know lots of women struggle more than me, or struggle to even get pregnant-  so really I have nothing to complain about. 

We are excited, and blessed, and all those wonderful things.  There's lots of joy around here these days. 

June

Playing catch-up because I'm a slacker!  Well, not a slacker.... I just am totally over blogging for some odd reason.  BUT, I need to write all our little happenings down because I'll forget if I don't.  My kids are growing so fast and I have the worlds WORST memory.  I always tell myself I'll remember, but when I try to think back on past experiences things are always fuzzy unless I write them down. It's for posterity, right? 

On June 9th we took a trip to Helena to see the fambam and run the Governor's Cup.   MIke and I ran the  10K, and it was SO much harder than the 10K we ran in March.  The course had WAY more hills, so both Mike and I ended up with about the same time as our last race, even though we were in better shape :).  We left the kids with my parents and ran the 10K in the morning, then met up with them and ran the 5K with the stroller, 2 kiddos, and my dad.

Not to get TOO sappy, but it was pretty awesome to run the 5K.  My dad and I first ran the Governor's Cup in June of 1989 and we didn't miss a year until after I left for college (I think 2003 was the first time I missed becase I was in Mexico).  I even ran it with him the morning after my senior all night graduation party! It was great to be able to share the experience with my kids and my dad and my husband this year.  CJ ran the first mile or so, then was honestly a bit of a stink pot for the rest of the race.  She curled up in the stroller and complained about being cold :).  Nolan, however, could not have been cuter.  "I winning!" he would say as he ran and ran and ran.  He probably ran nearly 2 miles of the 3.2 mile race.  It was SO fun to see him out there enjoying it, not to mention the fact that I love my hometown and running through the streets made me happy.

We've been trying really hard to stay active lately, so I bought a second-hand bike trailer and we've been LOVIN' it.  I love the exercise, and if I can keep the kids from fighting while they're in it it's even better!  Those two..... I hope eventually they're friends.  The other day Cecily says to me "Mom, I think I don't like Nolan anymore.  We should maybe give him away."  Like he's a rascally puppy or something.  Sheesh.

We signed CJ up for swimming lessons again this summer!  There were 8 classes per session, and she ended up doing 2 sessions.  The first 7 days were spent trying to coax her in to putting her face in the water and trying to keep her from flailing and screaming and freaking out if someone tried to take her away from the side ledge.  Yeah- it was awesomely horrific. I even took her to the pool later in the day to try to work with her alone and it was a disaster. I'm pretty sure everyone in the pool that day thought I was either a bad mom who didn't discipline her kid, or I was trying to drown the poor child.  My girl has some lungs on her, and she's not afriad to use 'em.  On day 8, the head lifeguard/pool coordinator/boss lady spent some time with her one on one.  By the end of that day she was away from the side AND putting her face in.  I guess it's all about the right teacher, huh? The next 8 classes went pretty well, although she was still afraid.  I'm signing her up for fall lessons so that she doesn't lose any of the courage she's started to find.

Nolan and I did a "Mommy and Me" class, which he completely LOVED.  It was fun to have time alone with him as well.  He loved jumping off the side in to my arms the most. 

At the end of June my good friend Erin got married to the love of her life, Jake.  It was such a fun wedding! Erin and Jake are an awesome couple.  We were so happy to celebrate with them.  The wedding was at the base of the Bridger mountain range in Montana, and it was just incredible, and the perfect setting for a wedding.  Mike and I both commented on how much we love Bozeman.  If we stay in Montana after this coal mining adventure, that is probably where we'd want to be. We'll see! Erin looked stunning, and it is always fun to see all my BSC girls.  They're awesome.  PLUS, my amazing mom and dad took the kids for us so that Mike and I could have a little get-away for a night.  Niiiiiiiiice.

Near the end of June Colstrip has a big..... festival?  Party?  Community event?  They call it "Colstrip Days" and they have a parade where they throw candy and people make useless floats advertising local businesses.  They have a big farmers market thing in the biggest city park and there are a billion booths with food, crafts, more food, local art, and all the fresh squeezed lemonade a girl could ask for.  Delish! Not to mention the Amish come and sell fresh donuts.....YUM! That is also when the town does local fireworks, since most people leave town for the 4th of July. 

AND, last but not least:  Pinterest is good for something besides bad recipes and time wasting!  We made bookshelves for the playroom!  I rotate out all our books because there's not enough room on those 4  shelves for everything we have.  But the kids are reading more, so mission accomplished.

Stay tuned for July.  Hopefully I'll get around to it within the next few months! :)

I so funny...

Forgiveness

Cecily uses this bag to house her doll furniture.

 It was a "gift" from Mike's former employer.  They were always sending us random junk.  (Government agency, anyone?) We have a collection of fridge magnets, sandwich containers, nail clippers, and useless bags.  All of which used to make me cringe when I looked at them.

They each reminded me of Mike's job, which would immediately make me think of his boss. 

Mike's former boss didn't treat him well.  In fact, he treated him like total and complete crap on a daily basis.  And although Mike's co-worker knew the boss was being UNBELIEVABLY unfair, he didn't stick up for Mike, even when given ample opportunities to do the right thing.   You don't even need the details- suffice it to say that they both acted like horrible human beings.

Over the past 8 months (and even before) I have harbored hatred in my heart for Mike's boss and co-worker.  Anything that I didn't like about our situation I would blame on them.  They were easy to blame. I thought things like, "If they hadn't been such jerks to mike then we would still be living in our house....... If they hadn't had it out for Mike, then I wouldn't have to live in this crappy duplex..... If they had acknowledged how great Mike is we wouldn't have to live in this tiny town...."  .......and on and on and on.  I know you're probably thinking that it was ridiculous (and it was), but at the time it felt good to blame everything on someone outside myself.  And, lets be honest, it's easier to forgive someone for hurting YOU, than it is to forgive someone who hurts your loved and cherished companion.

Over the past few weeks I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness.  Even while I was doing all the blaming, I knew in my heart that it wasn't healthy.  I knew that both of those men were living their lives with no thought of me or my family whatsoever.  I didn't think of them constantly (or even daily), but it was enough to put a dent in all the joy I should have been soaking up.

The stupid thing about all my needless rage is that there truly have been
 MIRACLES in the life of our family. 

Miracles which I acknowledge, and am incredibly grateful for. 
I have realized recently that for these miracles to truly take hold in my life and change me for the better I need to let go of my stupid anger for these two men. 
Just let it go.  Done. Over.  The end. 

So, I am striving, and learning and growing.
And I'm happy.
I have a loving husband who has a job which he likes.  The people he works with now value him and treat him with kindness and respect.  We are in a wonderful little town with lots of genuinely great people.  We have a roof over our heads, food to eat, and two sincerely amazing children. 

Even as I type this, I realize how silly it sounds.  Sheesh- I should have done this a long time ago! Hopefully next time I'll get around to forgiveness a little faster.

Gift

Nolan is 22 months.  He stopped taking naps at about 17 months.  At the time I was devastated and thought I'd pull all my hair out, but we've adapted and things are better now. 

Today, out of the blue, he crashed out on the floor and gave me an hour of quiet.

I have been trying to get Christmas things done, and I was actually able to accomplish a few tasks today, without the help of my 1 year old. 

It was like a little gift from Heaven.  And from Nolan. 

Love him to the moon.

The Town

Colstrip is a funny little town.  We like it.  It has it's perks.

Here's some of our favorite things:

1. There's a free recreation center for anyone who lives/pays taxes in Colstrip.  They have free daycare if you want to work out sans kids, they have free classes specifically FOR your kids, and there are spinning, lifting, yoga, cardio, and all kinds of other classes. Free.  Awesome. Yay.

Here's my girl, rockin' the balance beam.

 

2. Other drivers wave at you when you pass them.  Just to be nice.  'Cause it's a small town. 

3.  There are 4 wheelers and dirt-bikes all over the roads here.

4. There are (something like) 27 miles of bike/running trails throughout the community and hills.  It comes in handy while training for a 1/2 marathon.

5.  The whole town went to the homecoming football game at the high school.  Go Colts!  There would have been a parade too, but it got rained out.  There's always next year.

6.  Deer run amok. So funny, right?  Tonight on my run one jumped out of a gully and started staring me down. He was about 8 feet away from me and I thought I was going to die, or piddle in my panties (neither of which happened, thankfully).  At least I'm getting close to nature?  I think I'll carry bear spray tomorrow, though. 


7. Yesterday I saw 2 phesants right outside my back gate.

What's your favorite thing about where  you live?

Veintinueve

Am I seriously only a year shy of being done with my frolicking 20's?  It's true, or so my birth certificate says.  I don't feel like I'm getting all that much older, and even if I am, who really cares?  With age comes wisdom and with wisdom comes beauty and fullness of life. 

 So, 2 years ago I listed 27 things I had done in my 27 years, and last year I listed 28 things I want to do in the future.  For 29 I'm just going to list 29 of my blessings.  I can't think of anything more fun and interesting, so that's what I came up with. 

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER...........

1. My hubbs.  He loves me and listens to me.  Supports me and sustains me.  He is my equal partner.  He is kind and giving and needs me just as much as I need him.

2. Cecily.   She has such a capacity for joy in her life.  Make room for more fun if Cecily comes to town.  She brightens my days and amazes me.  She is smart and funny and I love her.

3. Nolan.  What a stinky firecracker that little guy is.  His laugh melts my heart.  His ability to tease is way beyond his age (as is his height, weight, and vocabulary).  I just get warm fuzzies thinkin' about him. 

4. A job for the spouseman.  There is something magical that happens when your husband actually LIKES his job.  No, really.  I know from experiencing both sides of that coin.

5. My body.  I like to move.  I'm grateful that I don't have pain or trouble being active at this point in my life.

6. A piano.  My mom gave me her piano earlier this year.  I am SERIOUSLY enjoying learning to play.  Plus, it's helping me check something off my list from last year :)

7.  Blueberries.  I have a new found love for them this year.  Salads, smoothies, with milk or without- they are fab.

8.  Facebook.  Facebook, you ask?  That juvenile, time sucking waste of your life? Yes.  I have learned lately that I get my energy by being around people.  Some people need alone time to re-charge, but I need people time.  As a stay at home mom I can look at facebook occasionally and not feel so isolated.  And when people talk to me and stuff it makes me feel like I have friends and I'm important. Weird? Maybe, but I'm grateful for it.

9.  My I-Phone.  Not kidding- it's kinda changed my life.  RIP Steve Jobs.  My life is more organized and more fun (angry birds!) because of you. 

10.  Goodly parents.  Man, I sure love my parents for teaching me what it means to be kind, giving, hard-working, and selfless.  I'm not really good at any of those things, but their examples gives me something to strive for. 

11.  Holidays.  I love holidays.  They make me happy.  July 4th, Christmas, Valentines, Halloween, Turkey day.... all of them.  I love celebrating and having an excuse to be with friends and family.

12.  Candy.  It's good.  I eat it all the time.  It seems crazy to call it a blessing, but it's the little things in life, right?

13.  Music.  Music calms me down and lifts me up.  I can usually be seen with earphones in.

14.  God.  I'm blessed to have a knowledge of who God is and who I am in relation to Him.  Glorious blessing.  The biggest blessing of my life. 

15.  Amazing siblings.  As the youngest of 6, I am blessed to have 5 of the most AWESOME siblings ever.  My older sis and I have become best friends and my older brothers are so caring.  I love them!

16.  Fabulous in-law family.  The Vincents are a great bunch.  I am a BIG fan of family vacation at the beach, not to mention my cute little niece and nephew.  It's fun being the "oldest" in the fam..... or at least married to the oldest. 

17.  The Book of Mormon.  Have you read it?  It really will change your life. 

18.  Houses (both in Colstrip and in Billings).  I am grateful we found good renters for our house in Billings.  I am grateful for a roof over our head in Colstrip. 

19.  Poetry.  I've been obsessed with Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Emily Dickinson lately.  Like music, it feeds my soul. 

20.  Diet Coke.  Zero calories and full of fizzy goodness. 

21.  Running.  I'm excited about doing my first half marathon in a few weeks.

22.  College.  Happy to have had the opportunity to go at all, to finish, and to learn. 

23.  Colstrip.  Really?  For real? Yes.  This is a great community and they have been more welcoming than anywhere else we've ever been.  And we've been a lot of places :)

24.  Jammies.  I stayed in my jammies until 3:00pm today and didn't even feel guilty about it.  It's my birthday!  I can do whatever I want. And I can like it.  And you have to too.

25.  History.  I have said this before, and I'll say it again- I LOVE learning about history.  Call me a nerd if you will, but I love it.

26.  Friends.  I have lots of acquaintances and a few true friends.  I value both, honestly, but I am very very thankful for the friendships that have endured and will continue to bless my life
 
27.  Vacation next week.  For my birthday, my present is a trip to Seattle to visit with my high school girlfriends.  I am SO in need of it and I'm so happy I get to go!  As mentioned before, I have a cool hubby who told me I should book my ticket as well as parents who are watching our cute kids. 

28.  The U.S. of A.  Even when the economy is in the toilet and the politicians can't agree on anything, we still have more opportunity and more richness of life than anywhere else in the world. 

29.  Twenty nine years of a good, good life. 

So, that's my list.  Come back next year to learn more about me.  'Cause I know you want to.

Pictures

This is just a random smattering of cell phone pictures. Not a whole lot of substance. But, since this blog is a way to document our life, you get to see them. And in case you care, I'm cooking up a post about our new diggs in colstrip, but that's for another day. 

Remember way back when when I mentioned that when Nolan falls down he looks like an Albatross landing?  Well, he was bounding through the park last week and had an unfortunate meeting with the sidewalk. As in, he slowed himself down with his face.  So sad.  So cute.

Mike has a hardhat at work because occasionally they let the nerds out of the office and they're able to go out on the mine and watch stuff blow up.  We were visiting him the other day and Cecily really wanted to "try on that cool orange hat!"

Mikes new job is amazing- more on that later.

We were visiting because the office threw us all a pizza party to welcome us to town. 

 Seriously nice people. 

This weekend for conference I decided to try "conference jars" with the kids.  Cecily chose the squares that said Temple, Prophet, and Jesus Christ. So every time someone said one of those things in conference, she got to get a candy from the jar and share one with Nolan.  It worked well at first, but they were so strung out on sugar by the end that we ended up DVRing the last 2 talks on Sunday and taking them on a walk to burn off the high.   Next April I'll try something different.

This was Cecily's lovely General Conference coloring page.  Do you like how she colored Thomas S. like Frankenstein?

Here's Nolan's.  Not as colorful, but he showed his love for Thomas S. in his own way.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

We are moving to Colstrip by the end of the month. 

 It's still a little bit weird and surreal. 

Honestly, this new job of Michael's comes with a measure of sadness.  I feel like if I don't acknowledge the sadness it will eat me.  And frankly, I don't want to be eaten. 

So, here's why I'm just a little sad:

1. We just moved in to our house and now I'm supposed to pack it up and leave.  This is our first home, and I love it.  It's nothing special, but it's mine.  And the last 6 months of living here have been awesome.  Not to mention we fixed things up so that someone else can move in and enjoy. Boo.

2.  I'm scared of changing everything again.  Scared of how my kiddos are going to adjust to the new place/people/life.  Scared of trying to make new friends.  I'm not great at it.

3.  We are just becoming comfortable in Billings.  Ya know the point where you know your neighbors?  And you can take the back roads without getting lost?  And your ward actually starts feeling comfortable?  Well, we just got there- and now we're leaving.

But, with the bad there is an overwhelming amount which both Mike and I are grateful for. 

Count your blessings, right?

 Here's the good stuff:

1.  We have a job!  A GOOD job at that.  And holy bad economy batman, are we ever grateful that 2 days after getting the news of being let go, MSV got another (better) offer.

2.  We are able to rent our house and we found really great renters.  They are people we know who are honest and won't have any crazy parties in our basement or anything.  And the best part is, they are EXCITED about our house.  I am grateful that it will be loved, as nuts as that sounds. 

3.  Colstrip seems to be a really nice community.  They have 3 power plants and one coal mine, all of which pay extremely high property taxes.  This is GREAT for the citizens! They offer a free rec center for anyone who lives in the town, plus really well funded schools.

4. Speaking of schools.... I am getting my educator licensure in MT and will hopefully be able to get a teaching job there.  I'm still not sure about daycares or whatever for my kids, but we'll see.  I'm excited to have the opportunity to use my degree and get some experience in a place where they hire 1st year teachers. 

5.  We will have the opportunity to pay off debt.  There's not much (read: absolutely not a bit of) shopping, so no "retail therapy" for me.  Unless I road-trip it to Billings......

6.  God is mindful of us and our needs.  And of your needs too.  And He helped Mike and I to know that a little better than we did before.

The good most definitely outweighs the bad, as in most situations if we look carefully enough.  Thanks for letting me put my feelings out on the internet :) 

You know my life is an open book.