There's lots of things going through my head tonight.
Here are my somewhat random, unorganized thinkings of the evening:
I need to be healthy again. Not just skinny. Healthy. As in, I actually get my buns out of bed in the wee small hours of the morning before my children wake up and go exercise. I don't eat fried food and drink soda. I teach my children good habits while they are young. Anyone know of a Yoga place in SLC? I've been thinking of taking it up.
September 11, 2001. Nine years and 2 days ago. I was in my college apartment in Provo, Utah getting ready for my job wiih the BYU grounds crew when I heard about New York, DC, and PA. It still breaks my heart to think about it. I am still sad that there is that much evil in the world, and that Satan has twisted the hearts of men into thinking that killing is something to do in the name of God. Any God. I won't ever forget. And ps- I am proud to be an American.
I am tired of waiting tables, but grateful for the lessons learned during this period in our life. I know the Lord is trying to teach me, and I am a stubborn student. He is teaching me to be grateful for my children. The time away from them has taught me that. There was a time, not so long ago that I sometimes resented being a stay at home mom. I guess resented is the wrong word............... I guess sometimes I thought the grass was greener on the other side, ya know? At times, I mistakenly thought that being a career woman would somehow make my life more fulfilling. Changing diapers didn't seem exciting enough. I am learning now, while working 30-40 hours a week, that I LONG to be with my babies, and there are things I am missing in their tiny little lives. Not only that, but I find happiness in cleaning my house and getting the things done that I used to loathe. The prospect of Mike not getting a job and me taking on a teaching job in January is somewhat daunting and I don't know how to feel about it. Anyway, I know that whenever Michael is able to find a job, I will go back to being a stay at home mom and I will be a MUCH better mom because of it.
Speaking of being a better mom....... I've been reading the blog of a friend of a friend up in Idaho who lost her baby girl, Preslee. She wrote an amazing post about how the Lord teaches us and molds us and helps us become better. Reading her story helps me to appreciate my kids more. Love them more. Hold them tighter. Cherish the little moments when they giggle or smile or kiss me. Because life can change in the blink of an eye.
I've been busting out some songs my guitar for 2 nights in a row. My fingers hurt, but I love it. I am doing a "life course" right now (more on that when I actually finish) which is helping me focus on what I really value in life. I value music, and I've been neglecting that somewhat for the past few years. Time to start up again, I think!
I miss my girlfriends. I am in need of a pedicure and a night out with my best gal pals. Too bad you are all a plane ride or a weekend car trip away. When I win the lottery, I'm flying you all to where ever I am and we're doing a girls night out. Better yet, I'm flying us to some fab tropical location for some R&R.
See you there.
XOXO,
Wendy
3 comments:
umm...yeah i totally get the stay-at-home mom thing. i guess i haven't had my wake up call yet cause it's still rough most of the time. and, i don't know if you're talking about me, but i'm sure you are;), but i miss you lots and wish that we lived closer. maybe one day...love you lots!
I know how you feel about waiting tables and being away from the kids. It drove me crazy too when I was first a stay-at-home mom. Now I can't stand being away! Boo. But you're making a better life for them by being able to support them.
I'm having a house warming party this Saturday the 25th at 4pm. Did I send you an invite on facebook? You have to be there, hopefully you're not working. Bring the kids, I can't wait to meet them.
I totally understand about the stay at home mother thing. Only other mothers can really understand. it's the monotony (did I spell that right?) of it all. the house work just piles up and the kids are challenging, emotionally and physically. and feeling like you're not doing enough or something, at least it is for me. I love going away for a couple hours cause it feels so good to get back home. All moms need a little of that but I'm sad you have to work full time right now.
If you need a girls night, come over!! I love getting pedicures or just eating and talking. Hang in there! I can't wait to hear more about this class you're taking too!
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