She didn't cry a river and drown the whole world, although sometimes I think it might happen. I've been thinking a lot about my little girl, Cecily JeNae this week. I love her. I'm borderline obsessed, which I should be. All parents should feel that way about thier kids, I think.
I've been struggling a bit lately with my cute girl. I try (unsuccessfully at times) to keep my posts lighthearted and joyful becuase I hate coming off as ungrateful and I often feel like I can't express my frustration without sounding really whiney. I have friends/ read blogs by people who can, but my writing skills lack, and I sometimes come off as a complainer. Just know before you read on that I would not trade her for any child in the world, or a career, or my own private genie.
That being said, CJ and I have had several battles of will lately which end in one (usually both) of us crying, angry, and frustrated. I wish I could tell you that I've prayed and figured out a solution, but I am not that good yet. I mostly just get sad and think I'm failing as a parent. If you know my girl, you know that she can be the sweetest, happiest girl on the block and can light up a room by walking in it, but she also has a temper equally as strong. She can throw a tantrum like you've only seen on the movies. No, really- I'm serious. Kicking, screaming and shrieking at the top of her lungs, yelling, running, climbing up shelves, you name it- she's probably tried it. We're doing the best we can- trying to speak calmly to her, trying to discipline when she needs it, trying to ignore the tantrum and not letting her get away with it..... all the things the books say to do. (and ps- just so you know, I'm not asking for advice on how to deal with tantrums, I just need to write it down...) Sometimes all the parenting tactics work, sometimes they don't. I'm working on it, and that is the best I can do. That is all I can do, and (in my rational moments) I know that time and love will take care of the rest.
In the meantime, there are some amazing, wonderful, incredible moments that make me remember why it's ok that she throws tantrums. It's ok that she won't eat vegetables. It's ok that we sometimes have to exit public places out of embarrasment.
It's ok because I know that this stage will pass, and I will miss it. I will miss being a family of only 3. I will miss not having to split my attention between my kids. I will miss things like asking her to repeat the sentence she is saying 4 times so I can discipher all the words. I will miss being able to pick her up, although technically I'm not supposed to be doing that right now...............
And the biggest reason that I love my little girl is because she is who she is. I would rather have the kid who is not afraid to try things than the shrinking violet. I would rather have the ball of energy who wants me to chase her and tickle her than the child who wants another movie. I would rather have my girl- becuase she's mine. And she's perfect for me. And she is teaching me things I need to know.
Here are some examples of her greatness:
Example #1
Above: When my sister Janet was here, she and I were reminiscing about how growing up, we both had messy rooms, but we dealt with it differently. Janet would pile things on her bed, then throw them all off at night when she had to go to sleep. I would pile things on my bed, then when it was time to sleep I'd just push them to the side and sleep next to them. Yes, Cecily is mine. And no, this wasn't becuase her room was messy. She makes me laugh daily, and what's greater than that?
Example #2
Above: Already a photographer extrordinaire at 2 years old.
Example #3
She's not afraid to climb a tree- even if it means getting her bum dirty.
Example #4
She is oh so beautiful.
7 comments:
I feel you 100% =) Sometimes, just when I am about to break and spontaneously combust, Amos will do something so cute the stress just melts away. Thank heavens for those moments!
Kinsey is A LOT like this! Sometimes I wonder if she is slightly bi-polar...ok, I hope she is not. But she is so happy and funny one minute and sooo naughty and a pain in my butt the next. You will be happy to know {at least for us} that the tantrums have decreased tremendously the last 6 months, I think they just grow out of them. Every once in a while one pops up- but not as often. Right now my blood pressure usually only rises when she wont go to sleep for me!!! It makes me insane! We go through this every night and it takes a good 1 1/2 hours of putting her back in bed before she falls asleep!! It makes me want to punch the wall...no seriously.
Have I written a book? Why, yes I have. Just know you are not alone. We are there with you and know how you feel {which I think helps.}
I totally understand! Amelia threw a tantrum in Primary yesterday and I was mortified! They were bringing in the new sunbeams to intruduce them to Primary and she was screaming and didn't want to sit in the little chairs. I had Maggie to deal with on top of it plus my Primary class of seven 7 year olds. She was so good about going into nursery but Primary has been totally different and now I'm worried it will be like this every week! It's so tough being a parent, no let me rephrase that it's tough being a mom. Being a dad is much easier in a lot of ways but a mom has to work so hard with her kids. I know you're grateful so don't worry. No judgement from me.
:) You are absolutely right... this too, shall pass. She will grow out of the tantrums, and trust me when I say, I feel your pain. And if I were to guess, I would say the hard part is that what works today (to end the tantrum) WON'T work tomorrow. Good luck, and just so you know, this post isn't even kind of whiny and complainey... Love you guys!
I can;t believe how close you are to having your baby!!! Goes faster when it is not me I guess :). So, I remember when kimberly was around three and she was laying on the ground at church kicking and screaming because she couldn't go to the school park. I was just looking at her like who is this monster and how do I exercise the demon? She turned out OK, so I have high hopes for your Cecily! Oh, and just so you know, you have permission to post and complain and you don't even have to put a positive spin on it. I have also given myself same permission.
she is oh so beautiful-just like her mama! i love you and your cute girl!
Oh that was sweet. SHe is "oh so beautiful." Love you guys!
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